Friday 5 October 2018

1 Year Week 2



Now
The beginning


I know its been a while since I wrote a weigh in post, I seem to be saying it a lot. I've had a lot on my plate and I've not had the chance to just sit and write in my posts. Several reasons not all good not all bad some were even more life style changes, some was getting the balances right so its been a good adjustment all together.

So it has been a little over a year since the first picture was taken and I can't quite believe its happened this fast, that I've stayed the whole year, it both does and doesn't feel like its been a year. 

People might ask if in the first photo, or at least when it was taken was I happy. Truth, yes, I was happy, I wouldn't say my own inner happiness has changed. I was not miserable and why I went to weightwatchers again, honestly Yasmine had said some of the other girls made comment on my weight to her and I didn't want her getting upset over it and my mother was bugging me to go back (and believe me the latter was a very big contributor to the situation I'll do anything not to be bugged about something), because as ever, my mother is the sound of my conscious. Its true, I've told my husband that when my conscious calls it sounds like my mother on more then one occasion, a lot of growing up she told me she's 'leave it to my own conscious' instead of telling me  yes or no, I suspect its so I could learn consequences, though I've said it before I sometimes wish I had someone telling me yes or no but then how would I grow!

Do you feel different now you've lost the weight? Well, yes and no.
I'll sometimes sit there and seriously say to my hubby "I feel as fat as I did at the start." I won't have ate anything to bloat me, I just feel it and I know its ridiculous but again seriously, sometimes I think the first picture is still what I feel like.
It'll be when I'm groggy or bloated or on my ladies time of the month, or when for some strange reason I can't climb the hill from my daughters school back up home. There was one day near the end of last term actually I remember I was having an asthma attack, I was pushing the pram up the hill, there was pollen everywhere (which does make my asthma worse) there's a bit just before you get to my street, you do have a sharp incline still to complete but there's just some greenery with trees and there's a round bit in the middle where you can sit so I sat down I took my inhaler and I remember thinking "I can't do this because I'm fat. Why am I bothering?!" And I was nearly in tears thinking I was still fat and I looked down and what I saw, didn't match the imagine I had of myself when I thought what I did just a few seconds earlier. "No." I thought shaking my head "You can't do this because you have asthma, its up hill its not an easy walk. You find it hard because you have asthma."
But then there's other times when I've completed something which I know fine well I couldn't have done a year ago, even nine months (Like the 5K runner above and yes I ran those times!) and it hits you all over again that I am changing. In all of this, I am changing.
12 Months of Weight Loss

Some weeks have been frustrating you can see below that my weightloss hasn't been straight down all the time, though thankfully none have been a massive leap upwards... Sometimes I've been more because I've been building up muscle, I've felt smaller I know I am, and then I step on the scales and they are the same or higher! 

Has it been easy you made it look easy? Why Thank you for saying so, but, no, no it has not been easy, it IS NOT easy, because I don't think this journey will really end.

Do I want to eat the chocolate over there? Yes I do. Do I? Honestly, sometimes yeah.


Last week I really tracked my food...
really really tracked it!
Standard Mars Bar 12 SP.  (or 449 Cal)

12 Smart Points could also serve me a spaghetti and meatballs recipe (in fact that is 11SP!)

The choice is mine, the Mars Bar can sometimes be satisfying and is worth the fact that you get to eat fish and veg for tea that night (I currently get 23SP a day with 35 weeklies!)  But ultimately I choose the spaghetti and meatballs.  And not eat both.

My favourite snack is popcorn (at 3SP for 30g its a steal!) 

Sometimes it felt as though my hard work, hasn't paid off, my Coach will tell you! And sometimes its frustrating. In making some positive changes you invoke some negative ones until we learn to balance it. 

People have noticed. Its obvious its coming off, but there are people who I see so regularly say it too. Both my kids go swimming (have swimming lessons) so I'm up at the swimming pool often, and because I get in the pool with Joseph have seen it all in a swimming costume! Joseph's swimming teacher and one of the lifeguards both say it! 

And I love how men try and approach the subject. Some don't at all with me, will talk to Phil about it and its because they don't want to offend me, I know thats why, and I guess some women would get upset by a man saying "You look like you've lost weight." And maybe it might have been slightly insulting after loosing a pound or two but when you've lost over 70 of them... I'm guessing its okay to notice! and whats funny is that their wives just out and say it! One friend I've known for years the conversation went something like this

Him: "You're looking well." 
Me: "I am thank you."
Him: "Has it been a deliberate decision or....?" 
Me: "It's been deliberate, and hard work."
Him: "Good, good on you." 

Not once did either him or me say anything about weight, but it was obvious what we were talking about, ladies and gentlemen that is how you do it! 

I don't want to talk too long because I don't want it to seem like a lecture, because even I get it wrong, you know I'm not perfect at it, but I'm getting there with it, sticking with it is important. I've still got a way to go, but you know something, I've made it this far! 

So if you've made it this far, thanks!


Total Lost

5st lb (or 72 Pounds) Loss this week: 3.5 pounds
Average weekly loss 1.3

lb (I'm okay with that!)









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