25/05/2018

So I've had a horrible horrible May!

At least weight wise I have!

So I had all these goals and I've stuck to none of them!

Goals to others inspire and help to me they just make me flop. I don't know if this is a me thing or others find it too... but never mind, I'm not upset and I'm going to talk about why.

In late September when I started I was umming and arhing about if I was going to bother starting weightwatchers, I hadn't had my birthday then there was bonfire night then all the Christmas stuff! But, I thought at worse there would be a couple of pounds off which I wouldn't have off in the first place. So I went. I lost a ton of weight in that time and always always I was looking on a weekly bases of what I could do rather then the long game because I wasn't planning on it working until Christmas, so I was concentrating on what I could do there and then.

I also realised how hard I've been on myself of late and I don't think that's helping.

I was walking home with Yasmine and Joseph  on Wednesday and we live up a really steep bank. It was hot I was pushing the pram and I felt my asthma start, it should be no surprise the pollen was out I have hayfever and one of the things which sets off my asthma is pollen. So I get to a point and I feel so weak I can't push the pram, Yasmine notices and pushes the pram for me until we get to a bit of greenery just a couple of streets down from ours but we can sit for a minute and it gave me the chance to take my inhaler.

Me July 1st of last year and me today

Whenever I went to my asthma check up or whatever they would point to my weight as being "the factor" in having it, so much so that I haven't been to an asthma check up in years, I got sick of hearing it and at the time actually I didn't believe them that my weight had an adverse effect on my asthma, I had it for years before I was overweight and it was  the same. But as we were getting to that greenery I was just about walking it out and I remember thinking "I'm fat, I'm fat and thats the reason why I'm having an asthma attack." And I really got really upset about it because I felt as though I had been working so hard at loosing weight, the last month has been awful in loosing anything and I was low, very low almost at the point of tears, because in that moment, inside my head if I looked down I would look like I did the end of September last year. Thats how this thought caught me. Then I looked down. And I realised, that actually no, I was not at the same point I was in September of last year. Heck the summer of last year. I am not in the same place, and you know something all last summer I didn't have an asthma attack. My asthma like everything else in me is effected by my weight, I'm not going to sit here and lie about the effects your weight can have on serious conditions like asthma, but I am not asthmatic because of my weight, but my weight if not monitored and brought down may one day have an adverse effect on my asthma.


So the last couple of weeks as you can see have been hard, my weight has been up and down my current stone mark like a yoyo, I'm not even kidding. Its my ladies time of the month so I'm naturally retaining a lot more... Last week I was at Yasmine's assembly at school, so I didn't get weighed in.

So on wards ever onwards, I will do this... I think I have the hang of the summer eating and I'm going to talk about that as well on this blog (not on this post but definitely on the blog)

I can and I will!

Star Wars Day!

 Hi Everyone,

I know its been a little while, again last week I didn't go to weightwatchers, but you know it was my time of the month (I was naturally heavier, and I didn't want to look down at the scales and see I'd put on three pounds when I KNEW it was my time of the month, I knew that was the reason but I think motivationally it would have put a downer on the week!)  I had zero sleep and I had a really hard time of it for some reason. Its not the best excuse in the world but I know I've had on and off weeks later and for no reason either. I have (hopefully) done something about it which I'll go into later. 





Thankfully it didn't 'dampen my spirits' for too long and this week I've really been going at it. 
Those of you who know I invested in a fitbit at the beginning of the year. I've used it ever since, but I seriously love it! 

Its a very easy fitness tracker and although there are some things I need to put in manually and its a few little niggley things, I can live with it! 

I go to aqua aerobics on a Thursday morning. I have to take the watch off because its not water proof (You can get water proof fitbits but this one isn't) Even though I manually put in the aqua aerobics (this I don't mind) and it records the burned calories etc. It doesn't record that you've walked in this period. which sucks when you're trying to prove you are moving every hour to it, so then I have to go back in and say I've done some walking at the same time. I feel like I'm both falsifying my steps and not because I am doing them, IN THE POOL! 

You can see as well that I walk A LOT! My daughters school is about a mile away from our house so to walk there and back its 2 miles. If I do this twice a day (which granted I don't always do, there are times Phil will drive us) thats four miles without anything else. four miles for me adds to about 10,000 steps (because I'm so short!) So normally I have pilates on a Monday night and the walk from the sports centre to my house (depending on the route I take) can be anywhere from 1-2.5 miles. So basically I walk EVERYWHERE around my home town that is. There's one exception is walking UP the hill (anyone who lives here knows that Stanley bank is brutal to walk) and all the little villiages around the town are of course down the hill from it.  I don't mind walking down the hill, or even up it to my house (which is about half way up) but I wouldn't walk from my mam's all the way up to the town, I would have an asthma attack! Or at least not all in one go, I haven't yet, maybe I will one day but not yet!

You can see on here too I've done some training with the fitstar programme (anyone with a fitbit, some of them are premium but I would recommend them) The front of my thighs have been hurting since that session on Tuesday! 

I think my exercise has a huge impact on my continued weight loss. I'll be honest, September-December those first three months I just did the diet really, I did some exercise but it wasn't like this. 

I think as much as we like to loose the fat weight we need to gain muscle weight at the same time, that's not to say we should look like bodybuilders (but hey if that look floats your boat you go for it girls and boys!) but some definition to our bodies, slowly building up our strength I think its very important. 

So I have a friend who does read my blog who is also doing weight watchers and she's had a really hard time with it, in fact a few people shall we say, and she was saying she didn't want to think about it that it was hard (and it is I won't invalidate what she said to me at all).

So, I want to write today a little bit about it. I've not had 100% weight loss every week I've been going. (hard to believe I know but true) and some weeks are hard, some months are hard and you feel like you can't keep going.

So, whichever diet (because I don't think this is exclusive to weight watchers) you're on, I want you to consider this.

Damage Control. 

Just two words, where you've had a bad week and you know you've put on there's no denying it. My mum often calls it this, and our leader even says it 

"Imagine if you hadn't been trying"


There are days which will go inevitably wrong. Don't let them ruin the weeks the months (for some people years) because its when you stop trying and you just let it all pile back on, that where the problems will start and not for people on the outside looking in (because you know I think sometimes we think people are judging us when they aren't) but for you looking from the inside out.

 I have friends from all over the world, all with different body types all at different weights and heights and sometimes you think "they don't need to loose weight why are they on a diet?" and I've heard people say it about other people to me, and my reply is "You have to be comfortable in your own body." I've had a friend for many many years (she's the mother of some girls my own age and I've known her the same time) and she agrees completely she's never (or I can't remember) been overweight, but she agrees "You have to be comfortable in your own body) and that is important! Its so important to remember and I hope I'm teaching my daughter right on this, often she said "(this person) does it." (often when I'm trying to tell her not to do something) and I say to her "I don't care what (this person) is doing, it doesn't matter to me what (that person) is doing, that's between (that person) and their mammy/daddy. It matters to me what you are doing." And in that, I don't want her looking around at other people's behaviours and comparing herself to them, she is a good girl, she really is very good, but I don't want any of her behaviours to be influenced from around her, and I know there always will be some I'm not stupid to that but at the end of the day most of the time it will be only herself she'll have to answer to, and I think in teaching her this its help re-enforced it to me. I on;y have myself to answer to. 
And it must be lovely to hear it from others that you don't need to be on a diet, but you know if that person is not comfortable in their own bodies and they have found a way to make themselves more comfortable, with the exception of too little or where eating disorders might be triggered (and none of the people I've read about who has had an eating disorder has been comfortable in their bodies while the eating disorder was active, is that the right term?) I say go for it! 

Stick with it!
Go for it!
We can do it!!!!

So, to avoid not this whole on again and off again thing from happening I have set myself some goals for May.

On the Weight Watchers app they put on there blue dots when you've had 13-28 SmartPoints in a day, this is to encourage us to use our points system healthy and to track what we're eating. So I've set my first goal to have a whole month of Blue dots!
Second is every weekday to meet my steps (I've set it to 12,000 steps)
Third is to loose a pound each week (or at least try to!)
Off to a good start!

Weight loss this week:-3 1/2lbs

Weight loss total:60 pounds (or 4 Stone 4 pounds!)