Dearest blog friends,
I know a few of you say you look at my blog, you've followed my food recipe's and my weight loss journey so far, so today I think I'm writing to you, if any of you read this.
firstly, thank you, thank you for following me, thank you for encouraging me.
Secondly, I have hit a serious road block, but I think I've worked it out.
In the new year I 'invested' in some scales, to monitor my weight, the hope was to watch it during the week just see how I'm doing. I think this is where my problems began.
Because previously I was only watching the scales once a week at the same time every week the weight was coming off sometimes one pound sometimes three but what was consistent was my approach, I didn't know what I had lost or if I gained, it was a Schrodinger's scales if you like where for those six days I couldn't see the scales so I had both lost the weight and gained it until I stood on the scales again the next week. I only had my points to guide me right?
What changed since the scales? Well I've been catching myself weighing myself not just on a morning but at every point during the day and panicking at the numbers so much that some days I can't actually remember what I was weighed at in class and whatever it was I had to loose even though I've proved to myself that the scales weigh me differently in class. I have literally not only gone off the scales (and off and on and off and on) but I'm judging myself before I even get started.
I've been missing classes and been relieved because I have more time to loose a few pounds before they see the weigh gain at class, truth is, I don't even know if I've gained weight!
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Yes half way up my knee high boots!
This wasn't even at the deepest point! |
And I said to my husband, that I'm fitting in smaller clothing now then at the beginning but I look down and I see the three stone heavier me because I look "bigger" in some of these smaller clothing! I mean its completely crazy I know it is because sometimes I look at the leggings I like to wear before I get into them and think "I'm not going to fit in there thats crazy!" I do, and I look down and think I look fat! And where I might do to some people its nothing compared to where I was the end of September!
As well, we've had some serious snow here in the north east, Monday night last week it started to snow and seriously its not stopped. We've dug us out at least three times we've cleared paths and part of the road to try and help Tuesday night Yasmine couldn't go swimming and Joseph didn't go to his lesson, and school was cancelled Wednesday onwards, I've been stuck with two kids and a husband ALL week! Let me tell you something, its hard. As a mum we let certain behaviours go right? Because it would drive us crazy if we didn't, but then daddy comes and he doesn't have those defence mechanisms in place, so the kids play crazy with him and everything goes mad! Well I've had to deal with it, and to be fair so has Phil! He probably thinks I'm insane, but you know I am, On both Wednesday and Thursday I walked up to ASDA and back which is a two mile round trip but thats been it! I'm used to getting out the house and seeing a bit more then just the white snow and let me tell you those two days my aim was to get out safely and to avoid getting stuck in a snow storm! School thank heavens is back on tomorrow, and hopefully swimming lessons will be okay on Tuesday and my schedule can get some structure back into it!
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This was one of our snowed in doors,
p.s we have to step to get outside... yeah! |
I have to stop this NOW while I still have the chance! The meeting wasn't on on Friday with all the snow and I'm tempted not to go at the end of this week and just eat no point foods! Or something I don't know!
So here is my plan of action.
1) as many zero point foods as I can (subject to availability of food being delivered to local shop tomorrow so I can do some zero pointed stuff)
2) drink plenty of water/squash and reduce the diet coke! admit it lady it makes you feel all bloated.
3) no more chocolate, cravings to be squashed by either the small amount of diet coke or the weight watcher sucky sweets you have, Push past them you've done it once you can do it again!
4) no more standing on those scales, because lets admit it by Tuesday you can't remember what you weighed at the meeting anyway, focus on the little things and just chill women, you've got this!
I've wanted to say "Forget about it, pass me the cheesecake!" SO MANY TIMES! And I'm not at the end of this journey, I'm on this long term!
